Christ, I hurt so much. My back, my knees, my shoulders, my toes, my head, the lymph nodes under my arm pits. I just HURT. And it never stops. Some days are more mild than others, but it NEVER STOPS.
I can’t help but kind of hope there is something tangible, conclusive, even major wrong with me. I know it’s kind of horrible to think that. But… If the doctor tells me it’s the side-effects of my depression, what can I possibly do about it?
I need this to be something I can do something about it. I need this to be something I can treat (and treat more effectively than my depression). And, frankly, I need this to be something that other people will acknowledge as real and serious (particularly my mother). I need people to take my pain seriously, for once. Please, just make my pain REAL.