Ok, not really. But fashion makes me happy. Clothes make me happy.
For a long time, I was very anti-popular fashion. I went through that phase in high school, where I wore baggy jeans and big black t-shirts. I never went quite goth – never dyed my hair, or started wearing a ton of spikes, or black eyeshadow, but I skirted the line for awhile. I was depressed, and isolated from the popular groups, both because of my interests and because I was a military brat who moved often and was slow to warm up to new people. So, out of defiance of the “popular kids” I resisted all popular fashion.
It wasn’t until the summer between my senior year of high school and my first year of college that I suddenly started becoming interested in clothes again (I say “again,” because I was very girly and loved dresses when I was little). I started buying dresses, and jewelry, and wearing more colorful makeup. My mother didn’t know what had happened. “Where did you come from?” she asked often. Not that she was complaining. She was very happy I had suddenly turned girly, she was just surprised and confused by it.
And now, I am a fashion NUT. I am KNOWN for it among family and friends. I LOVE clothes. I love classic fashion and edgier modern fashion. I love big jewelry. I love high-heeled shoes and boots. I love makeup. I love colorful, girly, frilly, sharp, sleek, edgy, dark, light, sparkly – I love it all.
As has already been established, I do not have a ton of money. While I don’t spend the kind of money on clothes that some women do, I do worry that proportional to the money I have, I spend too much on clothes. On the other hand, though, they make me happy. And need all the happy I can get. And I try very hard not to overdo it. I have a lot of clothes, but I never buy a lot at any given time. One or two items here or there. Generally on sale or clearance or with the help of a gift card some relative gave me for Christmas or my birthday. I just take good care of my clothes and don’t need to replace things often, so my collection grows, rather than staying the same size. And I buy some more expensive, statement items, but then I buy plenty of regular things at Target and Old Navy. So… I think it balances out fairly well.
And they make me happy. I have been trying to not feel guilty about it. Sometimes I dress the nicest when I’m feeling really bad. And sometimes when I’m feeling good for once, I pick out something that is colorful and makes me grin like an idiot. I don’t consider myself an attractive person, but I can at least dress well and look “good” for my fashion if not for my looks. And occasionally I come across a dress or an outfit that is kick-ass, and makes me feel amazing, even mildly attractive. And that has to count for something. Right?
Note: All the clothes pictured here are things I own, but only the picture of the boots is actually a photo of me (obviously, I should think). The other photos come from the websites of the stores they were purchased at.