I am grateful to discover that this blog is becoming more a space for me to share poetry and personal thoughts and short memoir-ish pieces, rather than just a place for me to vent about my depression and suicidal ideation. I’ve made progress since I started this blog in July, albeit slow and very incremental and conditional. It was very touch and go there all the way through August. I was feely pretty sure I wouldn’t see the end of the semester, let alone the end of the year. Now there are only 6 weeks left in the semester, I’m functioning better on my new medication (except for the jitteriness caused by the Abilify, which I may need to address after the semester is over), and I’m feel more, not optimistic exactly, but determined about the year 2016. I’m not wonderful or perfect or cured of my depression. There are still bad days (today is, in fact, not great), but my brain isn’t jumping immediately to “time to end it all.” Instead it’s saying: “we’re ok, just take a deep breath and stay calm.” And if that doesn’t count as progress, I don’t know what does.
I don’t have an enormous number of readers or views or comments, but I am grateful to the handful of you who seem to be sticking around. I hope to afford you slightly less morose fare in the coming weeks. *fingers crossed*